Tell me something sweet to get me by

To hell and Bach

You know when you just want to set the whole world on fire?

I want to stand in the middle of it all and just hold still.

To feel my skin blister so much I can't feel the pain.

All I want to hear is the roar of the flames

and think of my sweat pouring down my face in screaming little rivers.

Look at the dancing flashes of amber.

Breathe in the smoke, the dark ashes.

With the fire

A part of the fire.

Burning with something that's going to die out.

Ending after its one and only grand finale.

Pure.

Such peace, I can only hope to find.

I wonder what animals think of when they know they're about to die.

CHEEZ

You guys keep me looking forward to tomorrow.

Just the fact that you wonder where I am,

you know my favorite colors,

you text me stupid things.

That's enough for me to want to stay alive and keep at it.

Another idiot gimmick for the mind control of the masses

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ALAN ALDRIDGE

Coolface.jpg

Ya can't eat milk, ya can't lay eggs

I'm not making resolutions.

And i have one GOAL

To be the ME I always wanted to be.

I found people I enjoy spending time with even though they are NOT what I was looking for at all.

I've figured out what I like and dislike, I've learned to say no.

That's all I need.

Even the advertising was better in the 70's....

8PM- DOOMSDAY

So tired.

I woke up at 12.

Granted I got 8 hours of sleep, but still.

.288 12/30/2009 by Mern on Polyvore.com

WHY?

Well I end the year like this.

Not changed but happy.

That's good right?

Right.

And who knows what tomorrow will bring.

"Who knows where thoughts come from"

Strangeluv

Don't you just feel like vomiting at the thought of the time you wasted being unproductive...the time you wasted not doing something fulfilling.

Solitude has begun to disgust me recently. Mainly because of the internet.

Mainly because I have a tendency to make everyone I meet my new best friend.

Ergo...I dissapoint so many people.

I see it as a parallel to the relationship I have with my parents.

Everyone is simply a resource, a distant familiar face, a laugh here or there.

They used to say I "worshipped" my friends in high school because I had NONE growing up.

But now I don't know.

I'm assigning value systems in my head.

Like a videogame with point targets.

Compliment, hug, high-five= 10 points

Phonecall, lunch, mall date= Level up

Such a disgusting manipulative person.

I realize that I grind my teeth quite a bit.

But to be honest with you, kitty, as I get older...the pathos fades away.

An acquired taste for mediocrity.

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT?

I may even end up in a small upper middle class colony of white-stucco-and-red-brick two story houses, sending my children for whom I could never connect with to my old school.

My degree plan is mocking me. Slap in the face. It's an exact copy of my lifeplan.

Oh.

Oh I hope...I don't end up telling my poor disconnected children stories about myself from college...encouraging isolation as the best way to stay focused on their predetermined lives.