Don't be stingy with your bullets, always double tap

I feel like my life is spiraling out of control and I have absolutely no grasp on it.

I try to control small things like my weight and studying but it's almost like a waste of time.

I'm not a laidback person. This is killing me.

I crave structure.

Every aforementioned sentence in this entry began with "I".

Now this:

"I" am such a worthless piece of shit.

Do people have a stronger emotional response when reading literature or when seeing visual art?

THE FORMER:

I have never been more captivated by a painting before in my life.

I used to hate art because I can't draw.

Then I saw this.

I saw this and I wanted to create things.

I saw this and it moved me to productivity.

I saw this and I wanted to BE it.

It was perfection. Harmony.

Yes. 'Composition with Red, Blue, and Yellow' is one of my favorite works.

After reading the LATTER, I could not sleep. My mind had been jumpstarted.

This resulted into a moderate addiction to sleeping pills, depression, and some momentary atheism.

It still boggles my mind even today and I realize how weak and mediocre my mind is in that I still cannot fully grasp just how amazing this book is.

I wear a lot of gray. And I fear that I may have developed a personal style.