Oh me, oh my

Things are looking up for the first time in a very long time.

But I don't want these promises to be empty like the others.

I'm hoping with all my might.

I can never finish my homework.

Even if I fail AP MEH, I will be proud of myself for absorbing that much information. It is one of the most challenging course I have ever taken and I feel so enlightened and happy there with all the intelligent people. I need to spend more time with smart people.

Tomorrow I will do something very immature and childish that I will probably regret but also secretly be proud of because I am dumb. Luckily I don't have to go to the gym.

Sometimes I don't get why Rumaisa or anyone likes me or wants to talk to me, but they do. Or why random people I don't feel I'm close to will tell me that they had an abortion, went to jail, or failed a year of school due to steroid use, but they do. I don't know why. Is there something about me that even I, keenest of observers, have failed to notice? Is this something I can use to my advantage? So far I have not abused this...But abuse and advantage are two very different things.

Right now I'll think of it as an honor.

I appreciate that people trust me.

But it makes me think...Do I have anything to offer in return?

Or are my ears and non-judgement enough?