12.12.2008

When my life is going well

I don't feel the need to write it down.
However, where is my SMU letter? It will be sent next week.
THE BASTARDS.
Don't they know how long I've been waiting?
I'm a little frustrated with the communications department.
Do they really think I forced semester in broadcast will make us want to participate and then WANT to major in broadcast?
I want to go to Syracuse. Hahahaha! Today I got asked if I was applying to Leeds University AGAIN Ahahahaha!
Technically if I wanted to go to England for graduate school, I could. I'd prefer to go to Nottingham or in Leeds because I have a house in Nottingham.
Aunty Neelo left me her house in her will and I think she'd give me Uncle Rahman's. They got seperate houses when they divorced.
The reason I don't just fight with my family is because I know I underestimate how much they love me. They love me so much I don't even understand why sometimes...Apparently I was a good kid. I wasn't affected.
Also being the only baby for about 6 years helps.
Still it's weird gonig to England every year and having Sumer shoved aside for once and having just MEMEMEMEMEME on everyone's mind. People come to see me, buy me things, take me out, etcetera.
I want to move there so my kids don't grow up like I did. All isolated from them. I need to be around my family all the time. That being said- Maybe if they grow up around the family...they won't want to be around them when they get married.
All things in moderation?
I'm really supposed to be studying right now. THe French revolution and about 250 years of European history that I Bullshitted my way through the semester without. It's a miracle I'm still passing really. BUT! For once I think I am going to get an A on art history test. Granted it was open book/note. When you stress about something beforehand...you do poorly. Obviously.
I re-read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I really needed to. It was like drinking hot chocolate. I felt really...satisfied and happy when I finished (3 hours was all it took). I will be studying all weekend and not being anxious about anything but my impending doom from SMU. Other than that I will be fine. And seeing Rumsha.
I finally settled all my party plans for the Summer.
Graduation party at Haveli for brown people. Graduation High Tea at some fancy place for school friends. And then a really small 18th birthday party with Jenny, Allie, Tiffini. Maybe Monica and Rumsha. I want to go to Dallas, do something cool, somethign I can remember.
What I did to her was immature and wrong as Monserrat did not fail in telling me, however it did produce the desired effect. I just wanted her to feel that annoyance, that sort of pained panicked feeling when you find out someone just doesn't like you.
And, boy, do I not like her.
Anyways.
IF I GET IN: I'm excited. Off campus and outta sight. Dallas. Zach said SMU is a different world. Sounds like where I wanna be. House of Blues, Nokia Theater, all the clubs, boutiques, Northpark Mall, the Modern Art Museum, the campus itself. It sounds like paradise. A lovely monied world of extravagance smothered in a layer of ominous anxiety DUE TO MY LACK OF A LETTER.
I could go read history. Or I could go read Theodore Dreischer's Sister Carrie or indeed I could do something else.
Strawberry-Kiwi protein water is amazing.

No comments: