Who said I wanted to anyway?

A.J. Purdy

Micah Lidberg

HOLY SHIT

I get asked why I don't feel much.

I do.

I feel more than I breathe.

I am a human being after all.

But I just repress my feelings. It's a cycle I go through.

After a while I explode- it's disgusting.

It happened this February through March.

I want to go back to first semester and tell myself that it is okay to be attracted to people,

that it is okay to cry and complain until your voice gives out,

that it is okay to WANTWANTWANT someone to tell you that you were beautiful,

that it is okay to think about someone so much that you can't sleep.

JUST SO I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT AMAZING EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN THAT I HAD RIGHT BEFORE SPRING BREAK THAT RUINED EVERYTHING.

But why think about things that are eventually going to make you unhappy, make you miserable in the process?

They say "Happiness is a journey" right?

I have it engraved on a bracelet that I wear everyday.

I have absolutely no right to start that "journey"

until A) I deserve to and B) I trust myself to.

This decision was made long ago.

I feel like I'm trying to reach some sort of enlightenment in my life. No idea as to what is yet. But I guess I'll tell you when I find out, Kitty.

A lot of people tell me I should just quit what I'm doing and go do what will make me happy?

What do I want to do?

Go back to England, take pictures of cathedrals, eat lunch at the TATE everyday, have four cats, go out with friends to pretentious clubs, and then listen to the Beastie Boys and Four Tet while I'm at work designing for Lula.

Who are we kidding?

I think i'll just go look at more graphic design blogs and feel like shit while I read QC.

"I wonder what Weird Al is doing right now? Probably playing polka or something..."

-Nicholas Joseph Whewell.

Quote of the week.